SHHhhhh...

I'm scared... No one is suppose to talk about these things so I hind them and let no one know, because if they did know or find out somehow I would be imperfect. The reality is we are all imperfect.

Romans 3:10-12 (ESV)

10 as it is written:

“None is righteous, no, not one; 11 no one understands; no one seeks for God. 12 All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one.”

If you have read any of my blogs before this one you should have come to the realization that with all that I am and all that I do I try to please the LORD. I try to be faithful, and love like Jesus loves. You should also realize that I know I am not perfect and never will be.

In today's society mental illness is a real issue and no one wants to talk about it. Maybe its because its too deep, or we don't want to step on anyone's toes. Or maybe its because nobody wants to deal with it. Well I am here to talk about it and to tell you the two things I struggle with daily.

Anxiety

I struggle with anxiety. In crowds of big numbers, I freak out. In crowds of small numbers, I freak out even more. And when its just myself, I don't know how to act or react to the silence. Anxiety is something I refuse to look in the eye. The fear that it will never go away once its present haunts me day after day. It tells me that everything I say or do is a mess and I will never be good enough for anything or anyone.

Dictionary.com explains anxiety as, "distress or uneasiness of mind caused by fear of danger or misfortune, earnest but tense desire; eagerness, a state of apprehension and psychic tension occurring in some forms of mental disorder."

But, for those who go through what I do or know the experience of anxiety in some form, there is hope and a place where we can find peace.

The gospel tells us time after time to give our fear and anxiety to God. Specifically in a well known passage in Philippians.

Philippians 4:6–7 (ESV)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

We have hope and peace in knowing that the God of the heavens and earth wants us to rely on Him to take care of our fears and anxieties. We have a hope for the future knowing that we don't have to carry the weight of fear on our shoulders if we let Him take care of it. We can experience peace knowing that no matter how bad or high our anxiety levels get, the God of the universe knows what is happening and if we go to Him with it He will take care of it and give us a wonderful peace.

Depression

I also tend to struggle with depression. Sometimes I give into this monster and feed it what it wants; self-doubt, insecurities, I even listen to sad songs just so it can grow. I'm not saying that everyone who deals with depression feeds theirs, brings it upon themselves, by any means. I'm also not saying that I bring mine upon myself. What I am saying is sometimes I feel like it's easier to feed the monster then to try and defeat it. I am saying that there are days where I allow myself to stay in bed all day just so I won't have to lie when someone ask if I'm ok, because I tell them I am fine when I'm not. Often times I look on social media knowing that it'll make everything worse. I have this head knowledge of what I am supposed to do when I feel this way, when I get down in the dumps, but often times I do not do what my head knows to do. I probably struggle with this more than anything else.

Maybe, hopefully, you deal with your depression differently. I pray you can/do face yours head on and defeat it. I pray that you look to the good Lord to do your fighting for you. I wish I did that more, like I said before, I know what to do I just don't.

I know I need to take my own advice, I'm working on it. For now though I need you to take it. I need you to also give your depression to the Lord. I need you to let God do your fighting and for you to stop worrying about it. I need you to hand over the blade and swap it for the bible. I try to be the example but I hate to admit that I deal with my depression in some of the worst ways possible, mental abuse to yourself is just as bad as physical abuse to yourself. I need to cleanse my head of evil thoughts and pour in biblical truths.

Ladies, the Lord tells us we are worth more than what we tell ourselves we are worth. We are princesses because we are children of the one true King.

Proverbs 31:25 (NLT)

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.

Gentlemen, you were created for so much more than what the world tells you were created for. You are princes because you are also children of the one true King.

1 Timothy 6:11-12 (NIV)

11 But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.

12 Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.

Everyone

No matter what you are going through always remember that God is in the forgiveness business and that no matter how far away from Him you think you are, you are never too far away to accept Him and to cast all fear, anxiety, and depression on Him. You are never too far away to call on Him for anything. My prayer for everyone, rather it's anxiety or depression or something else, is that you will pray and let go and let God take care of it all.

2 Corinthians 4:16

16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. (bold and underline phrases for emphasises only)